Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
