Non-Jews are for practice
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
