so that wasnt chicken after all
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
it was like his penis was on wheels.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
