My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
