That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
there is glitter all over my balls
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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