So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
