Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
