i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
