new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
