I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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