he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
