so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
