My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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