Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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