operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
