I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
