That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I need to calm my uterus...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
