You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
