I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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