Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
