let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
