If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
