It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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