You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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