everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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