I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize