grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
