The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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