k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
and you fell through a lawn chair
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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