Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
