I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize