i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
