: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
