he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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