I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
