Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
