you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
