i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
