Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
