but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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