YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Your cock deserves a montage
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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