shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
