It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
