he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize