id be glad to
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
