I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
