So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
