i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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