we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
