did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize