Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
