apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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