we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
